For those that wanted to hear Finn’s birth story. I finally got around to writing it out.
At 38 weeks I woke up everyday wondering, “is today the day? Are we finally going to meet Finn?” And then at the end of everyday those last two weeks Kevin and I would pray, “Lord, we ask you to make it abundantly clear when Finn is on his way to us.” You see I had started having contractions, some painful, some sporadic, but also some that were in a pattern, but they would never sustaining. After about 4 hours each night they would just completely stop. So. Frustrating.
On August 22, Finn’s “due date” (whatever that means) I was actually working. Feeling great, rested, and ready to meet this baby!! I just kept thinking it’s going to be tonight, tonight we will meet our sweet baby!! Well midnight came and went and all I could do was sob, I’m talking full out ugly cry. I was devastated. I didn’t want to go late, I wanted him just on time, I so badly wanted to meet his sweet face. Sunday came and went… no Finn. Monday morning, August 24th we went to the Drs office for our NST and ultrasound. He was perfect. Strong heartbeat, fully formed, he just wasn’t ready to leave his cozy home!
When we met with the OB after our tests he gave us our options. We could keep waiting it out… or he said we could nudge him along! We thought we were ready for it to be spontaneous… then all of a sudden he was giving us options?! We weren’t really sure what to do! He made it sound so simple, he talked us through everything and basically said, “he’s ready, you’re ready, let’s have a baby!” He stripped my membranes and had me make an appointment at the hospital to start our induction the next day. We were so excited! And anxious, …and nervous! But most certainly, excited!!
The next morning we woke up enjoyed breakfast together and really soaked in the realization that it will literally never be just the two of us again! Over coffee we got to dream, chat, and laugh about what the next chapter of our lives could look like. What would Finn be like, look like, even sound like?! I will never forget that morning.
We went into the hospital at noon. I was 3 cm. We started in triage with an IV of penicillin because I was group b strep positive. From there the midwife laid out “the plan.” Pitocin, followed by rupturing my water, followed by meeting baby!! I appreciated the honest and straight forward approach! She said look, you want to start an induction, let’s get it started!
I was on pitocin by 4pm, and my water was ruptured by 6pm. Weirdest sensation. Like you know when you are swimming and then you get out to pee and it’s like almost hot? Imagine more liquid, more pressure a giant crochet hook and lots of towels. That’s what it was like to have my water broken. not painful, but also not glamorous and honestly kind of weird.
By about 7 or 8pm I had moved to pretty constant strong contractions, around midnight I was at a max for my pain level. The nurses were so great, every hour they would ask me my pain level and then give me a breadth of options. I had gone into this thinking, I want to do this natural but am not opposed to pain relief options, especially if pitocin is involved. I had decided I would use an algesic through my IV as a pain relief option. By 2am that had started to wear off, and I asked for an epidural. Part of me felt like I had failed myself, and the generations of “all natural” moms before me. But then my awesome coaches, Kev, mama, and my Aunt had said, you don’t need to be a martyr. If you are in pain and you want relief that’s okay, you’re still doing awesome! That’s just what I needed to hear.
The Anesthesiologist was awesome, very quick, minimal pain and great relief all happened in about 45 minutes. I could feel the pressure of the contraction without the pain. At that point I was at about 7 cm and could get a little rest and strength to be able to bring this baby into the world!
Around 5 am the nurse checked and I had made it to about 9 cm! She said within the hour I should be pushing! There was finally light at the end of this exhausting tunnel! I couldn’t believe it! By 6am we were go to go. There was pushing… so much pushing. All in all it was about 3 hours and 45 minutes of pushing. At the time I had no idea that it was a longer than normal amount of time.
At about 3 hours I spike a fever of 103 degrees. Finn’s heartbeat though stayed strong and steady. The midwives started using the phrase c-section. I really started to get nervous and scared. I just kept praying that the Dr who ordered our induction would walk through the doors. Two contractions later he came into the room. He checked me, and said, “if you trust me to coach you through this we can get him out together. I can feel his head, it would be harder to take him c-section now because of his position.” I absolutely trusted him through every one of those last pushes.
Twenty minutes later his head was out, and two more pushes they threw him onto my chest. Ugly cry commence! He latched almost instantly, and we just laid there cuddling, and studying one another faces. It was the most unreal experience I have ever had.
In that moment I couldn’t believe how many emotions I had felt all at once. That the Lord gave us this child and trusts Kevin and I to raise him in His image. It’s unreal! So awe-inspiring, joy filled, and an amazing moment of my life.
Life is so precious, so real, and yet so fragile. He was born so innocent and pure. What beauty and joy from our Creator. We are so in love.
Finnley Charles. August 26th // 9:45am // 8lbs 3 oz // 21 inches